That said, what I've been mulling over lately has been politics. And a thought occurred to me that will hopefully be encouraging to people, so I guess I might as well go ahead and talk about it.
As everyone knows by now, Ted Cruz has dropped out of the Republican presidential race, all but guaranteeing Donald Trump the nomination. What this means for November, I will not bother stating here. Others have done so far more coherently elsewhere. What it says about the attitude of the apparent majority of those in the Republican party, I will also not discuss, although I will say that I am very disappointed by it.
But as I was sitting last week watching the news flood my Facebook feed and everywhere else, and trying to process what this might mean for the country, and what I should do in November, and whether I should be packing my bags and moving to Australia (where, I hear, they never have terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad days), something occurred to me.
I'm not sure whether I should call what I started doing “praying.” I was sort of talking to God, but I wasn't being terribly reverent. Mostly, I was just grumbling to myself. It went something along the lines of: “Why? I was praying about it; we were all praying about it. What did we do wrong, that you didn't listen to us?”
Then I remembered, or else I was reminded; did I not specifically say “You know what I want, and you know that I think I know what would be best for the country now. But you know what your plan is, and you know that your plan is better. Work this situation for yourself and your glory.” And I had to ask myself the question: did I mean it, or did I not?
I realized that when I said it, I was partially convinced that I did, in fact, know what would be best, and obviously, since God does what is best, that's what he would do. I knew that he was more than capable of doing even more 'impossible' things, so obviously, he would. This was the part of me that was very disappointed and hurt by God's failure to agree with me about what was best.
But part of me did mean it when I said that God's plan was better. Part of me really was trusting him to work things out, even if he did it in a way that didn't make sense to me. This is the part of me that I am trying to allow to gain more control over my life, and this seems like as good of an event as any to continue with learning how to do that.
What occurred to me last night was that God's plan has not changed. He knew this was coming. And he didn't just know that it was coming and plan around it, either. He deliberately planned for this to happen, for a purpose that we do not yet see. That does not absolve us of responsibility, but it does mean that we should be hopeful, even when we don't know what's happening or why.
I do not know why God has brought this about. But I do not that he has a purpose, for our good and for his glory. And again it comes down to the question I continually find myself asking: do I trust him? And again, I answer: I do trust him, and may he help me to trust him when I don't.